I Have Always Been Yours (BizimHikaye - BarFi)
by Pheobe BarFi
Summary: You will find the explanation of the context of this story in the first entry/ separate paragraph at the very beginning of the chapter. Please read it carefully otherwise it will be hard for you to understand the context of the story
1. Chapter 1

So this is my take on a scene that could've happened in episode 27 a bit later during the same night when Baris and Rahmet came back together from Namuk's place after Baris got into a fight for Rahmet's sake to get the money needed for Hikmet's new school, and Baris's famous " I'm not jealous" when talking about Omer. Also remember that the devil Servet came to visit Baris/Savas leaving him heartbroken,in a very painful scene.I felt that this episode signaled the ice starting to melt between BarFi, and so I imagined this tiny scenario that could've the way, the story goes back and forth between Rahmet, Baris and Filiz remembering previous scenes ( for example BarFi's confrontation and their kiss from episode 26 ) and going back to the this is only for the first few pages, after that the story carries on in the present without interruptions. I hope it's not too confusing and you get to understand the way I tried to create a story while also remembering and commenting on previous scenes using the characters' thoughts .Please note that I'm not used to writing fanfictions, so I'm sure it sucks but I wanted to share it with the BarFi fandom regardless. Don't judge me haha I'm a crazy HazBur / BarFi shipper . Hope you enjoy my imagination . I'll be eagerly waiting for your comments as your criticism is much appreciated , my lovely BizimHikaye here we go !

 _ **" I Have Always Been Yours .. "**_

Baris had always been one of them .He had always been an Elibol . Whether he was Filiz's lover or not, he had always been there for the elibols, for each and everyone of them individually, in his own way . Rahmet knew it .Not only did he know it, but he also got the chance to see it ,more than saw it when Baris was so worried as he was holding Kiraz and looking for a taxi to take her to the hospital, he saw it in the way he sat with Fiko, telling him all about the rules or basketball and asking him to behave and be responsible to make Filiz happy. He saw it in his eyes as he was looking at Filiz ,trying to reassure her when Fikri was at the hospital despite the fact that they were separated .The list is long .. And tonight, Rahmet also saw the same look in Baris's eyes, that same protective look as he pushed him out of the way and volunteered to fight in his place in Namuk's clandestine club to gain the money needed for Hikmet's transfer to Ankara . He saw that Baris was still trying his best for saw the way he fell to the ground more than blows he took from his adversary would probably leave him in pain for another couple of days , but he didn't give up for Hikmet's sake and eventually won the fight .

Going back home , as Rahmet was carrying his bag and insisting on them going to the hospital, he couldn't help but notice that faint smile on Baris's lips , he'd recognize it anywhere . Baris was genuinely happy for having been able to provide help for his " brothers " as he said .

-" Wouldn't you have done the same for Hikmet ? "

-" I am doing it already "

-" Exactly! & I also consider myself as your big brother.."

These words kept resonating through Rahmet's mind . How could Baris be so close to them yet so far away at the same time ? He felt sorry for him because, despite Baris's denial , he knew he was just trying to be part of their life somehow, to be closer to Filiz even in such an indirect way .

" You know my sister would never lay eyes on anyone else but you, right ?"

Baris stops in his track and looks with surprise for a few seconds before going back to denial , as usual : " Are you saying I am jealous ? "

Rahmet giggles and nods in approval

" No I am not jealous ! Im just concerned about your wellbeing . I don't trust that Omer . He will be trouble and you'll see it …"

" Oh so you're not jealous over my sister then ? "

" Yes you ****** I am not jealous ! "

They both laugh at the way Baris fails miserably at hiding his blatant jealousy . Rahmet suggests to spend the night with Baris , fearing he might need someone to take care of his wounds but Baris insists that he goes home so as to not worry Filiz .

Rahmet thanks him one more time and goes home .

Baris unlocks the door with difficulty, practically throws his bag & coat on the floor , and collapses on the first couch he sees, cursing under his breath , squinting and groaning in pain . He closes his eyes for a few seconds . Silence . Silence everywhere . Silence and pain . As if he wasn't unhappy already, as if the pain he was feeling over losing Filiz wasn't enough already , now he had to deal with physical pain too. He cursed again then opened his eyes abruptly, fixating his gaze on the ceiling, feeling utterly and completely alone . So Alone .

At the Elibols' house,Rahmet carefully opens the door and struggles to take off his shoes and jacket without making any noise to avoid waking Filiz or any of his siblings .But who was he kidding ? Of course Filiz is not sleeping , how could she when her brother is not home yet ? That's exactly why he wasn't surprised when he saw her anxiously standing in the middle of the living room, relieved to see him but also observing him with worried eyes , indirectly asking for an explanation .

"Where have you been ? I was so worried Rahmet ! "

" Abla ,there's no need to worry , I was giving extra-curricular lessons to a student , I told you that .. "

Filiz pinches him and says : " Do you take me for a child ? Who gives lessons at this time ? Where were you Rahmet ! "

Rahmet lies . He hates lying to his sister but he had to . What was he supposed to say ? I got involved in illegal clandestine fighting, putting my life and Baris's life on the line to procure the necessary money for Rahmet ? Filiz is the person who'd understand the most what it means to sacrifice oneself for one's siblings, she has done it all her life and she had to pay the price more than once , the latest being losing her happiness with Baris, but she would never expect any of her siblings to do the same . And so Rahmet hides the truth and tells her that he won a mathematics contest which explains the huge some of money he is handing her . To make things more believable, he told her that he met with Baris on the way and grabbed a cup of coffe with him , without realizing how time passed by .

Filiz is in tears . She was terrified of the idea of Asim hurting her little Hikmet She felt so helpless since she couldn't provide the necessary money needed for his seeing Rahmet handing her the money and smiling at her, she couldn't help but hug him tightly with tears streaming down her face . She never said it outloud, but she always knew that Rahmet was the male version of herself, she knew that if , God forbid, anything was to happen to her, she could count on Rahmet to fill her shoes and take on the responsibility after her . As his name suggested, "Rahmet" ( meaning mercy) was her guardian angel , he was her biggest supporter , her biggest hope . After an emotional dialogue shared between the two ( it happened in the episode) , she kisses him goodnight and sits on the couch , looking at the envelope containing the money and smiling, still with teary eyes .

Rahmet goes into his room . He looks at his brothers sleeping peacefully, feels relieved and lays on his bed . He closes his eyes and tries to rest for the remaining hours of the night at least ..But He can't ! He can't stop thinking about their current situation , about the problems that keep coming one after the other , about the way in which they would tell Hikmet they are sending him to Ankara for his own safety & whether he would accept it or not , but most importantly, he couldn't get rid of the feeling of guilt over leaving Baris alone tonight . Despite everything that happened between Baris and his sister , he knew that they still loved each other so much and it hurt him to see them like this . His thoughts also turned to his role model, his big sister Filiz, and he swallowed hard at the thought of the sacrifices she had to make , giving up her education (she was an excellent student and were she to finish her studies she could have been among the best!), her childhood, her youth, her LIFE , and now she married Cemil , sacrificing herself once again for their sake , hence giving up on the happiness she could've had with Baris . He could see the joy Baris brought into her life and he felt a small punch in the chest over the idea that they're both miserable apart .

Suddenly , he got up and slowly opened his chamber door to find that Filiz was still sitting in the living room , alone , looking at the envelope still. She seemed thoughtful .

" Baris is not okay Abla .."

Filiz immediately looks at him with shock and confusion .

" WHAT ?! Rahmet what are you saying!"

" I have told you that I was with him , right ? Well he doesn't look good at all . He seemed… sad and alone . I .. I just thought you should know .. "

Filiz remains silent , but she doesn't know if it's because she truly has nothing to say or if it's because she 's still trying to process the fact that Baris might be needing help . Rahmet doesn't say anything else, he just steps forward, kisses her forehead then goes back to his room and closes the door, leaving Filiz to her own demons .

" Baris is not okay Abla " . The sentence kept repeating itself over and over again in her head , but why ? WHY ? He had left her without even allowing her to explain what happened in the courthouse . He refused to talk to her , he completely shut her out and was nothing but cruel to her . He lied to her and slept with another woman ! Yes , she knows they were on a break , she knows he thought she was truly married to Cemil , she knows that but she always considered him as hers , she always believed he belonged to her, only to her, body and soul, and that someday,they'd find their way back to each other, but Baris ( or rather Savas Aktan) made this impossible by sleeping with another .

She shakes her head in frustration and curses herself for still carring for him in such a way ! But he wasn't okay , and she couldn't handle that .Despite his cruelty, she wished she could just be with him and make his pain go away, cursing herself yet again for still wanting him after everything he's done. She also knew perfectly well he was really fragile and vulnerable , a child whose parents never really understood nor tried to . She knows his brother's death and his father's deeds left a huge hole in his chest and she wished she could just fill that hole with her love and affection, but the situation is much different now . Oh ! His father ! She just remembered the night before, where she saw Servet's car parked in front of the pink house , and Servet stepping out of it and knocking on Baris's door ! OH how she wanted to go there at that precise moment, to quick Servet out and never let him get close nor hurt Baris ever she didn't . She didn't think she had the right to. He told her himself " Who are you ? Who am I to you ? Am I your husband ? Your lover ? Are you my wife ? What is it to you ?! " Yes , who was she to still intervene in his life after those harsh words .It was no longer her business. So she didn't go .She had just kept looking anxiously, waiting to see if Baris was okay, before reluctantly closing the door and going back inside .

Filiz suddenly gets up from the sofa, grabs her coat and opens the door . She stops in her tracks . What was she doing ? What the hell was she thinking ? Was she really going to see .. him ? Was she really going to be there for him after he clearly stated that he no longer belonged to her ? She bitterly closes the door, takes off her coat and slowly goes into her room, forcefully closing her eyes and taking refuge in her little bed.

At the pink house, Baris hadn't moved . He was still lying there , on his small sofa,not caring about the pain that was radiating through his muscles due the blows he took in the fight . Staring at the ceiling in the dark with the same old empty feeling in his heart , he fought the urge to close his eyes , because whenever he closes them, he sees her, he sees Filiz . What was happening to him ? Why was he allowing tonight to be all about moments of weakness ? So far he has been so sure about the decisions he had made regarding thought that she didn't trust him and that she had given up on him to be with Cemil , so he left ,swearing to forget her .Nothing would break his resolve ,not even seeing her ,looking at him with those needy, affectionate, devastated green eyes of hers . But fate put her in his way again, and little by little, he discovered the truths that were unknown to him, truths that annihilate all his reasons for leaving .Filiz never loved Cemil, it was an unfair deal she was forced to make from the start to save her siblings . He still didn't understand why she refused to get a divorce , but he knew now that her marriage was nothing but fake and that her heart always belonged to him . She had told him that herself !

" I am in love with you, you idiot ! I can't lay eyes on anyone else but you! when you said that it was over in the courthouse, didn't you see that it wasn't over for me ?! And you dare talk to me about Cemil ! "

He remembers the way she had confessed her love to him in the most heartbreaking way ever while he was not expecting it at all ! He was so sure she didn't love him anymore and he was determined to keep his distance, but then she confronts him about sleeping with Hulya( the scene that happened in episode 26), utterly broken, shaking everywhere, shouting and screaming and hitting him and allowing herself to be so vulnerable,and then she tells him all those things, the things he always wanted to hear but was too stubborn to admit , and all his determination and resistance shatter . So , in that heated moment of pure honesty, his " Savas Aktan" mask drops,he pulls her gently but forcefully into his arms,takes her face in his hands and just kisses her, making her lips his once again . Heaven . His mind was still processing what he was doing, but he didn't allow himself a second of wanted this , he has been craving this, craving HER for so long,craving her touch and the way her sensual kisses never failed to bring him back to life .She had resisted him for what seemed like a nanosecond but she was equally swept away by desire and love that she gave in , allowing him to feel her once again, after so much time spent apart .

Saying that he didn't know why he had kissed her in that moment while he was still angry and shouting at her would be a total lie, because he knew exactly why he did it. Whenever she confessed her love to him, his immediate reaction had always been to kiss her ,as if his kiss would translate all the things he wanted to tell her too. He missed her so much . He was madly in love with her, maybe even more than before. The more he realized just how much he couldn't handle life without her, the more he became vicious towards her .Maybe it was his self-defense mechanism, as he was scared he'd just surrender to her at any moment, asking her to take him back under any condition she wanted .

Back to reality, ,Baris eventually allows himself to close his eyes and see her,it was obvious that her image would haunt him for the entire night anyways so he might as well let his fantasies take over. He unconsciously & very carefully touches his own lips with his fingers, still lying on the couch . It is as if he wanted to trace her lips on his mouth, purposefully trying to recall the excitement and the unmeasurable euphoria of having her, of breathing her …

He was so alone . He had no one, or to be precise, he had lost the only person that was ever able to fill the void in his heart and life .And so , eyes still closed , he surrenders himself to sleep , uttering her name one last time like a prayer , as if saying it would make her appear right in front of him , making his wish come true .

" Filiz …." , he pronounces her name with a desperate trembling voice and sighs slowly at the sound of it echoing in his living room, reminding him again that she's not there , that he can't have her .

A knock on the door . It's almost 2am . He ignores it,thinking it's just his imagination playing tricks on him. Another knock on the opens his eyes abruptly .ANOTHER knock on the door . He moves his body slightly , just enough to reach his phone . Yes it IS 2 am! What the hell ! Who could it be this late at night ! He slowly gets up and proceeds to open the door, mentally preparing himself to kick out whoever was there .He thought it might be his mum, or Hulya since she had the annoying habit to come to his house uninvited !God that girl was really starting to annoy him, especially after he realized how much it hurts Filiz to see her next to him,& he didn't want to cause Filiz any more pain.

He opens the door .

He remains silent … or he thought so anyways ..

"Filiz … ?" He didn't even realize he had pronounced her name out loud until he heard it himself . She was there right in front of him. He could touch her if he extended his hand .Yes , it was 2 am and Filiz was standing there , right outside his door, looking at the doorstep, unable to meet his gaze yet .

His first instinct has always been to protect her. He didn't even consider the possibility that she was there for HIM; and so he immediately asks her : " What's going on ? ARE YOU OKAY ? Are you hurt ?Are your siblings okay ?!" The urgency in his voice is so endearing to Filiz that she immediately answers him to stop him from worrying any further : " No ,don't worry, we're fine …"

Baris lets out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding .

They remain silent for a few moments, Filiz still looking down while Baris was just observing her , taking mental notes of every part of her,her face, her gorgeous hair, her body, wanting to memorize her details for didn't know if another chance to be standing this close to her, alone, would ever be presented to him and so he didn't even blink .

Filiz , inhaling sharply, proceeds :

" I .. I don't know why I'm here … "

" I didn't ask .. "

" I just ..I should probably leave .."

Baris doesn't allow her to finish the sentence . He quickly but tenderly takes her by the arm and gently pulls her inside the pink house, the house that had witnessed their intimacy , their laughter, their moments of sadness and even their break-ups.

Filiz doesn't resist at all . She lets him pull her inside , still trying to gather the courage to look him in the eyes . Once inside , they remain silent for a couple of seconds , then Filiz finally speaks :

" I just .. well Rahmet said that you were not okay , and I wanted to check up on you and.."

She was saying these words as she was slowly lifting her head up to look him in the eyes . Baris was desperately waiting for her eyes to meet his, to drown in that gorgeous green ocean of hers .But her shocked, terrified facial expressions didn't allow him to get fully lost in her . His head was exploding with questions as she suddenly gasps and practically runs towards him, pressing both hands on his face . As much as he was relishing her healing touch, he couldn't enjoy it fully .What's going on ? Why is she so close to me ? Why is she touching me like this ? Why is she here ? Why is she so worried about me despite what I did with Hulya, despite my harsh words, despite her being married to another man ? Why is she being so tender with me ? Confusion was driving him insane and he couldn't stop himself from wondering what would happen if he tried to kiss her right there. Would she slap him again like she did just a couple of days ago? would she kiss him back ? Would she be his again ?

His thoughts were interrupted by her alarmed voice :

" Baris what happened to your face ? Who did this to you ? What happened ! "

His face ? .. Oh … Oh right ! He completely forgot the physical pain he was in upon seeing her .He finally remembers the bruises all over his face and body due to the fight he was involved in in Namuk's place . He smiles internally over the fact that this woman still had such a strong effect on him that he forgot everything the moment he saw her .

" Oh , it's nothing , no need to worry .. "

" How am I not supposed to worry ? Your face is all bashed in ! What happened !" , she insists as she was still caressing his face , trying to find out where it hurt the most .

" A couple of drunk jerks wanted to steal my phone when I was getting home and when I fought them back , I was left with these scars .. no big deal I just need rest .."

He could almost hear her swear under her breath and mumble something as if she was insulting those "imaginary" jerks who did that to him and he smiled slightly at the way she was being so protective of him . He loved protective Filiz, & always felt safe with her .

" They were a group, they must've hit you pretty hard ! Please let's go to the hospital Baris , they migh've injured your ribs or something ! "

She kept talking , still touching him trying to make sure nothing was " broken, and so Baris puts both of his hands on hers, while keeping them on his face, and says anxiously " calm down Filiz, I don't need a hospital, I'm a doctor . Believe me I'll be fine "

He remembers when he kidnapped her on her wedding night and pretended he was injured when she tried to escape . The words he had said to her then echoed in his mind : " I don't need a hospital , I have you and it's everything I need . " He wishs he could say the same now, because despite their tragic misunderstandings and mistakes, he still only needs her …

He doesn't realize how or when it happened, but he found himself being pushed behind by Filiz. She had already dropped her hands off of his face, and took him by the arm as she was slowly guiding him backwards towards the couch . He does not protest nor mind, but rather follows her every move and completely surrenders himself to her . She helps him sit down on the couch, and he unexpectedly lets a groan of pain escape from his mouth . At that moment , she curses the men who did that to him again and he laughs, truly laughs after what seemed like an eternity of misery.

She quickly gets up, takes her coat off and casually throws it on the chair next to the door, pulls her shirt's sleeves up ,and goes directly to the kitchen, looking for the first aids box . Of course she knew exactly where it was and Baris didn't hide the happiness he felt upon seeing her moving in the house and acting as if it belonged to her too, because it did, that house belongs to her no matter what . HE belongs to her no matter what . For a few seconds , it felt as if she was his wife, being with him at this time of the night and caring for his wounds .Oh how he wished that were true , but it's not , and after his treason with Hulya , he didn't see it happening, and this realization caused him more pain than his injuries.

A few minutes later , Filiz comes back with the box and everything she needed to clean his wounds .

She sits next to him in the most casual way, as if they had not been separated for months, very delicately touches his cheek to turn his head in her direction and begins healing his injuries one by one . She seemed very focused on his face, working meticulously .She was Filiz Elibol after all, a real perfectionist. He might be a doctor , but he could swear she was even better than him at cleaning wounds , better than any doctor or nurse he has ever known really , which makes sense : she did raise 5 children on her own .

She touches him so very delicately & he unknowingly let a sigh of relief escape from his she reaches the most painful cut above his left eye, the liquid medication stings him and he involuntarily winces because of the pain. He expected the wounds to sting and burn of course , what he didn't expect though was the way Filiz got even closer to him and started blowing on that wound, slowly & gently , " fffff … ffffff " trying to make it less painful. The whole thing was simply so endearing and just so overhelming for Baris to could she be so sweet , so affectionate ? How could she be so able to fill him with warmth , serenity , and DESIRE all at once with just the simplest detail, the simplest gesture on her part ?How could she still have this kind of effect on him? How could her mere presence make him the happiest person on earth despite everything? Her face was almost touching his now, her gorgeous lips only inches from his eyelashes , while she was still focused on healing him,. He held his breathing for a few seconds, only for it to become faster and more ragged .His eyes darted from her eyes to her nose to her lips and they remained there, refusing to look anywhere else. He doesn't recall ever wanting something in his entire life as much as he wanted to just capture her lips in his at this specific moment.

On the other hand, Filiz didn't even pay attention to the way Baris was looking at her and the way his heart was beating so fast in his chest since she was too engrossed in taking care of his injuries . She kept blowing gently on his face for a few seconds before kindly asking :" Does it still burn ?"

No reply from Baris .She looks at him to get an answer and that's when it hits was too busy with him that she didn't realize that she was practically sitting in his lap,her eyelashes almost touching could feel his breath on her face and she was taken by surprise by the love& desire with which he was looking at her eyes and lips.

She suddenly became very aware of the closeness between them and she wished she could stay there for a while ,but she's always been very reasonable& responsible and she knew this moment of intimacy that they're sharing should not happen,not after he cheated on her, not after his harsh words, not in their current situation. So she clears her throat and awkwardly moves away, breaking their eye contact, not noticing the quick look of disappointment on his face due to the sudden absence of her close body& warm hands on his face, though he doesn't take his eyes off of her for one second .

" Did they beat you anywhere else ?" Filiz asks this question , trying to sound as serious as possible.

" There's nothing to worry about Filiz, you've already done enough .. " says Baris weakly, miserably failing at hiding the pain he's feeling all over his body ,but Filiz knows him well enough to realize he's lying .So , without allowing him to utter any further lies , she approaches him again and asks him to take his shirt off . Baris blinks in shock. It's the first time he hears such a request from her. As he was staring at her with extreme confusion , his disbelief becomes all the more apparent when Filiz, desperately trying to avoid eye contact, puts her hands on the edges of his shirt and starts pulling it herself . She is taking his shirt off . " Filiz is taking my shirt off …" his mind kept repeating this thought like a broken the hell is going on ? What is she doing ? Her touch awakens his deepest cravings and he can't help but want her even more than before . How many times did he wish for this to happen ? wait …This ? what did he mean by "this" ? What was he expecting to happen now ? Why does he find himself unable to conceal the immense satisfaction he felt upon seeing her undressing him? Shock . Confusion . Weakness . Desire . A surge of emotions assaulted his being like a ferocious army. If this were a battlefield, then he had already surrendered himself completely to her .

Baris's stream of consciousness is caught off by Filiz's voice :

" I know you wouldn't tell me even if you feel pain so I am going to check for injuries myself, if you don't mind …. "

" No , of course not … "

Filiz carefully checks his exposed chest, his back and arms, & even his abdomen , finding some bruises and taking care of them in the process. Baris 's heart was pounding so hard Filiz herself could discern that sound. And to be honest, he wasn't the only one . Filiz herself was feeling so nervous , but she was taken aback by her own bravery. Where did she find the courage to undress Baris like that ? She could never provide an answer .All she knows is that she wouldn't be relieved until she made sure none of his injuries was too dangerous or too painful , until she made sure HE was no longer in any physical pain at least, until she made sure HE was .. okay .

Yes she was doing a great job, but it was certainly not easy. She was literally struggling to keep her breathing even, to hide how her red cheeks kept getting warmer, and how she'd secretly look at his naked chest , taking a long breath and letting his scent fill her senses whenever he wasn't looking.

Once she was done , she helped him put his shirt back on while trying to keep calm, and proceeds to clean the mess she made while giving him tips on what to do to help his injuries heal as soon as was attentively listening to her, like a child listening to stories told by a " fake" Santa Claus . He was a doctor , of course he knew exactly what to do, but he found her so very endearing in this state that he let her carry on, not to mention that he could truly listen to her for hours. She was and still is his lullaby .

Once this was over, silence came back to fill the space between them again .By this time, Filiz was standing away, directly facing him as he was still sitting on the couch .

" So … I … I guess I'm gonna leave now .." says Filiz .

She was leaving . Filiz was leaving him to his demons again and this night was going to be over . This awkward state of euphoria was going to disappear with her .All of these thoughts take over in the blink of an eye and he completely freaks out .He refuses to admit it to himself but he doesn't want her to leave, he doesn't even want her to step further towards that door. He wished he could just lock the both of them together in there and throw the keys , to talk about everything, to scream and shout and blame each other, but embrace each other at the end of it all. But sadly this shall remain a fantasy .

" Don't go .. "

Filiz freezes in her steps . Did he just ask her not to leave [him]?

Baris stands up and approaches her , making the distance between them almost non-existant and asks : " You took care of me so very well .Let me thank you by offering a hot cup of chamomile tea to relax you before getting into bed . I promise you I won't poison you "

He was joking to try to lighten the mood and Filiz appreciates this small gesture. Despite it all, Baris had always put her comfort first .

" No no there's no need .It's getting really late and I should go. Plus, you should be resting now .."

" Filiz please .."

She sensed so much seriousness and earnestness in his plea that she couldn't refuse . And truth be told, she didn't want to leave him either, despite everything that's happened.

" Okay. I guess some chamomile tea would make us both rest better .."

He smiles and his face lights up like that of a child who's just been told that they're going to DisneyLand .

" I'll be right back , please take a seat . " As he disappears into the kitchen she could hear his voice " you can turn on the tv if you like . Do you want to eat something too ?"

" No no I'm fine thanx"

Minutes later; Baris comes back into the room holding two cups of tea and hands her smiles and takes it, then reluctantly takes a seat on the chair next to the door. He asks her to make herself comfortable and sit on the couch with him but she politely declines so he sits in the same spot he was sitting in on the couch, truly missing the warmth of her body that he have had the chance to feel again moments ago .

Unfortunately, not even chamomile tea was able to calm their nerves. They were both drinking it, not a single word was exchanged between them, as they were reluctantly trying to avoid each other's gaze ,and casually smiling whenever their eyes met .

A few moments went by, where they both had so much things they needed to say but neither one of them had the courage to start first.

" Why are you here ? " Baris asks without warning . " Why did you come to me Filiz?"


	2. Chapter 2 BizimHikaye

Hiii everyone ! Sorry for the delay , but it's really not easy to come up with ideas and write these chapters , especially for someone as unexperienced as I am . Anyways , I'll let you discover the second chapter and live each and every moment with our gorgeous BarFi( the better way to fully enjoy them is to visualize every scene trust me ! ) . I myself was imagining the scenes as I was writing this and I melted hahahaha . Also, please do provide me with your criticism, comments, favourite scene(s) or lines from the chapter , or even things you would have done differently . Your suggestions, comments and support are much appreciated lovelies ! Kudos ! Oh, and for those who are just joining in, you can find the first chapter on this same site as well , or simply ask me for the link I'd gladly help .

 _ **" I Have Always Been Yours " – BizimHikaye**_

 _ **( Chapter 2 ) : " A Call to Arms "**_

Minutes later; Baris comes back into the room holding two cups of tea and hands her one . She smiles and takes it, then reluctantly takes a seat on the chair next to the door. He asks her to make herself comfortable and sit on the couch with him but she politely declines so he sits in the same spot on the couch alone, truly missing the warmth of her body that he have had the chance to feel again moments ago .

Unfortunately, not even chamomile tea was able to calm their nerves. They were both drinking it, not a single word was exchanged between them, as they were reluctantly trying to avoid each other's gaze ,and casually smiling whenever their eyes met .

A few moments went by, where they both had so much things they needed to say but neither one of them had the courage to start first.

" Why are you here ? " Baris asks without warning . " Why did you come to me Filiz?"

Baris 's face suddenly turns into a serious one as he asks this question so very suddenly that she almost chokes on her tea . She was taken by surprise , she felt cornered and she had nowhere to run . She was looking at her tea but she could feel Baris's intense gaze on her, piercing her .Indeed, Baris was scrutinizing her, searching for her eyes to meet his , to give him the answer he's always longed to hear .

Filiz takes one more sip of tea before finally answering :

" I told you , Rahmet said that he met you and that you didn't look good, so I just wanted to check up on you "

" Why ? " Baris was insisting so much, she could feel it in his gaze , in his voice, even in his hands that were anxiously holding his cup . Why is he asking such questions ? What kind of answer does he expect ? That she still loves him deeply and that's why she couldn't bear the thought of him not being okay ? Of course she could never tell him that, not in their current situation . They were separated for good and he had no right to await such a response from her. Filiz resorts to lying again as she takes a deep breath and gives him an answer they both know was not entirely true .

" I don't know , I guess it's a habit for me to act like everybody's mother.. "

Filiz was evading his question now . Baris knew it , they both knew it . She is obviously lying as he can always tell when she lies , which is very rare . She doesn't want to give him any answer that would satisfy his inflated " Savas" ego and he understands that. He doesn't want her to feel anymore distraught than she already is and he knows perfectly well she'd leave if he keeps pressuring her like that, so he bitterly lets it go and fakes a weak smile over her failing attempt at making a joke . He takes another sip of his tea, realizing that it won't help him calm down, not as long as she is there, not as long as she is sitting inches away from him but he still can't feel free to hug her and tell her how much he loved and missed her.

" So, how's Hikmet ? " He asks abruptly

Filiz looks at him sadly and it breaks his heart to see her like that .

" I don't know , he is quite all the time . I can't get through to him … "

" Is it True that .. you know, he has another father ?"

Filiz tightens her grip on her cup and she feels that her eyes were starting to get filled with tears but she tries to keep calm , she did not want Baris to see her like that .

" Yes , it is true . But it dosent matter . He is my little brother, my baby , and no truth is ever going to change that "

" Of course . I'm sorry if I asked a wrong question Filiz . I am just trying to rationalize & try to understand his behavior "

" What do you mean ? " she asks him curiously , as she was putting her cup back on the table next to her .

" I mean that Hikmet might need a psychologist . Falling in love with an older woman is a normal foolishness that can happen to anybody his age . He's a teenager Filiz , and not a regular one . He is struggling like all of you , he realized that the man who raised him as his father was actually not his father . Mrs Sukran 's abandonment has also had its effect on him, he can't be as strong as you are . Maybe he found in Esra the relief he was looking for .. Don't worry , he needs time but he'll get past this . It's just a phase of a troubled confused teenager"

" I know , you're right, but I just can't forgive myself for not noticing it earlier .. How could I let my brother go through all of this alone ? How did I not hold his hand instead of getting angry with him over Esraa . She was a good person too, she didn't try to take him away or anything but I was too mad to see it at the time . I feel so guilty ."

" Don't blame yourself Filiz, you are doing more than enough for all of them . They are lucky to have you ."

" Lucky ? If they were lucky my brother would not have tried to kill himself while I was not paying attention .. When I saw him standing there , so hopeless, ready to jump off that building and commit suicide , I .. you have no idea about the way I felt Baris … "

And then, all of a sudden Filiz throws her face into her shaking hands and starts crying , trying to stop but not being able to . Baris doesn't waste a second . Filiz is broken in front of him and he feels someone is tearing his heart to pieces . He jumps from the couch and immediately drops to his knees in front of her, putting his hands on hers , trying to see her face .

" Shhhhh , Filiz don't cry please . It will be alright . I promise you I won't leave him alone . I'll find a good psychologist for him . We won't leave him alone , okay ? "

" I'm sorry , I didn't want you to see me like this , I just .. "

" It's fine, please don't do this to yourself . Come here "

Baris gets up and takes her by the hands, making her reluctantly stand up , and he simply puts his arm around her in the most intimate way ever , letting her breathe against his neck , while smoothly caressing her hair , telling her that it will be okay . He takes her to the bathroom and he assists her in washing her face and hands, before going back to the living room where he unconsciously makes her sit down on the couch right next to him , as she was still wiping her tears away .

" Are you feeling better ? Can I get you anything ? Do you want to lie down ? If so then the bed inside is more comfortable than the couch .."

He was speaking soo fast , asking these questions all at once , dying to console her in any way and in every way possible .

" Yes I'm better . Thank you Baris , I'm sorry I got you into this mess .."

"Oh come one ! It's nothing .. "

'It is nothing' . That is the way he had always expressed himself to her whenever she thanked him for something he did . They both look at each other momentarily, memories passing like flashbacks between them, then they share a shy smile before going back to silence .

Filiz sees the way Baris is being so considerate with her . She feels so safe with him, despite them being on a break . She looks at him as he is busy fumbling with a pen he found on the table . God he was such a cute child ! Whenever he felt shy or nervous he'd always find something , anything to play with , hoping it would take the stress away .

She looks at him attentively and still sees the everlasting sadness she's always perceived in his eyes . She might have lied to him earlier but she knows why she's here . She saw Servet coming to meet him the other day , and she was worried over Baris ever since . She thinks to herself ' should I ask him about it ? Should I just let it go and leave right now?'

She found the second option much easier and she was about to do it , but it's like her feet were rooted to the spot . Was that her body asking her not to leave him like that , without comforting him in return ? Was it her heart pleading to have a few more moments on intimicary and serenity with him ? Tonight was her "night of weakness" anyways .

" Why did your father visit you a couple of days ago ? " She finally asks , looking at him worriedly .

Baris drops the pen immediately as if he were struck by lightening . He turns his head to face her with a shocked expression on his face .

" What ? How did you know ?"

" I saw him , the night he came , I saw him getting out of a car and knocking on your door . I know the nature of your relationship with him, I know what he did to you , I know the way he makes you feel . I am just saying, if you want to talk about it , I am here for you . "

Baris looks at her with so much confusion . Is this why she's really here ? Is that what she meant earlier ?

He remembers that Hulya was with him that night. That annoying girl had witnessed his confrontation with his father and had kept insisting on him to tell her about it , but he didn't . He didn't want to share anything with her . He knew it wouldn't make him feel any better& he never considered her as more than a " work friend " He never really liked nor trusted her. Come to think of it, after his brother's death , he hadn't been able to talk to anyone about anything . He kept everything inside : pain, anger , helplessness , feeling misunderstood , everything ! He never felt the need nor the desire to share any part of himself with anybody else, not even with his mother Ayla . But Filiz was different . Oh So much different ! So special for him ! So precious to him ! He told Filiz everything because he wanted to .He wanted to let her know who he was, unveiling himself to her and trusting her with his darkest and deepest agony . She was not only the love of his life, but also his salvation, his best friend, his confidant. Filiz Elibol was his will to live again . So he surrenders himself to her entirely for the second time of the night. He doesn't hesitate, nor does he resist the urgency to tell her ,to pour his heart out to hear , to reach out to her , to let her heal him time and time again .

He keeps staring at her for a few seconds, taking her all in, then looks at his hand, feeling too fragile to face her as he utters those words .

" He came to humiliate me as usual . There 's a .. a deal between us, and at the present moment I can't keep my part of it for financial reasons, and so he is finding the best opportunity to humiliate me , to prove his point, to make me feel worthless and even more helpless .. to remind me why I tried to chase Savas Aktan out of my life and became Baris "

Even in his hour of need, Baris is being vague about the deal he had made with Servet , because if he tells her the entire truth, she'll blame herself since he got that money to buy her house in the first place . He just loves her that much, unwilling to hurt her even now .

Filiz is speechless . She doesn't know what to do nor say . She doesn't have any solution for him , She wished she could but they both know she doesn't have it. The only thing she can do is listen to him , allow him to let it out, to shoulder the burden with him .

It happens in the split of a second , but Filiz gathers her courage and stands up , choosing to sit on the table , directly facing him . Baris's head is lowered. Of course he's hiding his teary eyes . Filiz gently rests her hands on his , and her touch awakens him since he immediately presses on her tiny fingers, as if he's looking for strength in them . She also presses firmly on them, but temporarily lifts one of her hands to touch his chin and lift his head up, allowing him to look straight into her warm , comforting , loving eyes , before bringing her hand back in his .

" Listen to me Baris . He will NEVER be able to break you again, do you understand me ? That's what he wants to do , this is exactly the effect he wants to have on you . To nourish his ego and prove a point by showing you that he is still able to control your life . He wants to leave you no other choice but to succumb to his desires ! But you won't ! You will finish your studies and become the best doctor there ever was and be happy ! "

Filiz was talking firmly but affectionately .

Baris was observing her like a little puppy. He might not believe in anything in life , but he believes in her . She is his faith and he could swear if she'd ask him to move mountains with her current attitude, he would . She always makes him feel so good ,and he curses the day he ever left her . He wants her . He craves her .He needs Filiz Elibol with all her power , her determination, her sexy fierceness and her readiness to triumph over any obstacle . He finds himself unable to talk much, so he just holds her hands even tighter, looking even more vividly into her eyes .

" You're right Filiz . Don't worry, I will be just fine . Thank you "

Filiz smiles kindly and says .

" You are a bit like my dad you know that ? "

They both laugh ironically, then Baris makes another joke :" Is this your way of asking me to stop coming to your house drunk every night ?"

Their laughter echoes in the warm living room , and Baris enjoys the sound of her voice as she laughs out loud . He can't tell her that , but he feels proud to have been able to make her laugh in such a spontaneous , wild way . She never fakes anything, she laughs freely and is always being true to herself, and her authenticity is the sexiest thing he could possibly ever see in his life .For a brief moment , he felt as if they were back together, her spending the night in the pink house with him , sharing secrets and problems and confessions, him being naughty as usual and her laughing freely at his flirty behavior . He swallows hard at the thought of losing it all .

" Stop it Baris I'm being serious haha ! "

" okay okay go on "

" Of course you're not like that . You remind me of him on a certain level . Well, sober or drunk, Fikri Eibol was always the funniest of all . Even when he was almost dying, he kept hiding his disease from us and he was always cheerful, he was lovely . Except when he thought NO one could see . "

Baris's lingering laugh slowly turned into a serious facial expression, a shocked one even, as he listened to her .

" Yes . Except when he thought no one could see . I saw him once . I truly saw who my father was when mum attempted to commit suicide . I saw him when he was looking at her body drenched in blood , with a pale face and a desperate look. He looked … sad ..

" Filiz .."

" YOU look sad .. when you think no one can see you. I guess what I am trying to say is .. Are you okay ?Are you REALLY going to be fine ? and please don't just say you will because I know how it feels like to be sad when you think no one can see you . "

" YOU can see me ."

" I no longer count . ", she responds with a weak smile .

What ? She no longer counts ? Who told her that ? How could she even think that ?! Baris was furious ! How could she believe such a nonsensical thing when she's actually the person who counts the MOST to him ?

She doesn't give him a chance to try to tell her that as she continues :

" Despite our separation, I just want you to know that I'm here , okay ? If there's anything you need, anything at all , you can have me "

She immedialy regrets having said that . Why did she say something like that . Baris's eyes widen and it seems as if his face lights up with an unprecedented sense of hope . She quickly tries to save herself .

" Euuh .. No I didn't mean it like that . I just mean .I mean .. I will be there to listen to you , to assist you .. "

She is out of breath . She can no longer finish her sentence . HOW could she when Baris does what he does next . Without warning , without hesitation, he lifts one of his hands and cups her cheek, caressing it ever so slightly , while keeping the other entangled with hers .

" You do count . You've always counted and I've always trusted you . You are the person who matters the most to me Filiz ."

He cups her other cheek with the remaining hand and Filiz feels as if her heart is beating in her throat . She doesn't know how long she can resist him .He carries on:

" You are right . I am not okay . "

" What do you need ?" Filiz urgently asks , willing to do anything to save the man she loves so very much .

" You . "

And just like that , he confesses his love to her with those simple 3 letters . He might not have been direct ,but they both know what he wanted to say .

Baris slowly moves forward, closing his eyes , obviously targeting her lips . He is about to kiss her . Baris is about to kiss her ! Filiz is shaking. She longs for his lips so much and so she leans into the kiss .

BUT , just before their lips finally touch,and out of nowhere , Hulya's voice and words resonate in her ears . " Savas and I slept together " and it's enough for Filiz to stop in her track , put her hands on his and whisper :

" Stop "

Baris abruptly opens his eyes and stops . Why did she ask him to stop ? Doesn't she miss him the way he misses her ? Doesn't she want him the way he wants her ? Doesn't she want his lips the way he NEEDS hers ?

" But Filiz "

" Baris please stop . Nothing has changed . I didn't come here for this to happen between us. I … I don't feel that way about you anymore ."

She lies . She lies so bitterly and it hurts her so much to do so but she has no other choice. He had cheated on her .He doesn't deserve to share a kiss with her, not anymore .

Baris freezes in his spot , still trying to understand what she just said . She seizes the opportunity and gently takes his hands off of her face and stands up , taking a few steps forward, getting away from his grip.

Baris doesn't move. He only follows her with his eyes and says:

" You're lying Filiz ."

" No I am not . Why would I lie ? I have nothing to hide "

" Then why are you here? why are you avoiding my questions ? Why are you being so tender to me ? Why did you touch me in such a loving manner? Why are you here , with me ? " He demands, desperately longing for her to say something different .

" Well I .. Listen Baris , you have been there for me and for my siblings on so many occasions. Lately, you even saved my father's life as well as Hikmet's .Maybe I would've lost both of them if it weren't for you. Our relationships is ….. over .. but I am not ungrateful. I will forever be thankful to you for everything you did to my family. When I heard that you might need help, I wanted to provide it as a " thank you", at least just this once .Just this one time .."

Filiz was explaining this while looking at her feet, because she had always been a bad liar and she didn't find it in her heart to lie while looking into his gorgeous deep eyes . She thought her words would satisfy him, but she could feel he got tense all of a sudden .

" Is that it ? " says Baris, with a sudden serious tone .He didn't like that answer, he was waiting for more, he NEEDED much more than simple " sympathy and gratitude" from her.

" I'm sorry ? " Filiz acts as if she doesn't see how stressed he got,and the way he touched his face in that cute way he does whenever he's angry or nervous .

" I said is that it ? IS THIS the ONLY reason ? IS THIS why you came to me ? "

" I..uh.. yeah .. what else could it be ? "

By now Filiz was swallowing hard and her hands felt sweaty . She suddenly grabs her coat and fumbles with it, trying to wear it as quickly as possible as she was announcing : " Well I guess you don't need my help anymore, it's almost morning, I should really go home now . Have a good night . "

She was already standing close to the entrance so it was easy for her to reach the door knob. Right then, right there, it all happened in the space of a second . She doesn't know how nor when, but Baris practically jumps from the couch in the blink of an eye and stands right behind her, one of his hands firmly pressed against the door ,not allowing her to open it and leave, his other hand gently holding her arm .The little breeze of cold air that had entered the room when she barely opened the door was smothered as he quickly but gently slammed it shut. Filiz stared at the crack in the door , her breathing hitching as her last chance at freedom disappeared from view .

She could feel his body standing right there, so close she could literally hear his heartbeat. His warm breath was tickling her left ear and she found the feeling extremely pleasant. Her eye pupils dilated, her blood pressure elevated , her hands practically shaking . They were standing right there , his hand still pressed against the door, hers still on the knob . They seemed to be frozen in time , just the two of them for eternity .

Baris's state was definitely not different from hers . He doesn't even recall when he jumped forward as he saw that she was leaving the house, leaving HIM again.. The thought itself caused pain to erupt through his heart & his entire being, let alone the sight of her turning the door knob .So he lets his feelings take control. He launches forward and stops her from getting away from him. Not tonight .He wouldn't lose her without a fight tonight .They might be separated but tonight, none of it seemed to matter . There was no more room for logic. The only thing he could understand was just how much he wanted her , how much he was in dire need to keep her with him. His chest and abdomen were pressed against her small back,and so he closes eyes,and just breathes her in.. He'd recognize her scent anywhere .Not her perfume, but rather her natural scent…. It was so … Filiz Elibol- like : strong, fierce, sexy , delicious, affectionate, extremely endearing with a hint of stubbornness, and so unbelievably irresistible. He doesn't stop there . Eyes still closed, he rests his forehead against the back of her head , relishing the intimacy of the moment, her quick breathing and her heartbeat sounding like music to his ears.

"Why are you truly here Filiz ? "

He repeats the question again, whispering this time, his forehead still resting against her hair. The hand that was holdig her arm slowly went down until reaching her wrist and it stayed there, measuring her pulse. Elevated . His vanity gave him satisfaction in knowing that she was nervous around him , just the same way he was , because, at least it meant that she still cared for him somehow, and that's all he needs right now .

" Baris what are you doing ? "

" Answer me .. please "

" Baris let me go . "

" No . " says Baris, but it's not an angry "no" , or a forceful" no" " .. It sounded more like a DESPERATE plea .

" Baris , you shouldn't .. I want to leave "

" Do you ? do you really want to leave ?"

Filiz keeps quiet for a few seconds, but relunctantly lies again : " Yes, so can you move your hands please ?" Filiz says this and tries to open the door again but she is taken by surprise when Baris quickly closes it again, while his other hand is holding her tiny wrist. He presses on it ever so lightly then pulls her closer to him until she is completely stuck to him . Eyes closed , his head resting against hers, still , he whispers again :

" You said you wanted to make sure I was okay . I am not . Help me . "

His voice was trembling and Filiz was holding back her tears . He was so desperate, so needy, so fragile, and she wished she could turn around and take him in her arms . But it was no longer her place .

" Baris please stop . This is no longer my place . We no longer have the right to share such moments . You have a girlfriend and .."

Baris doesn't allow her to finish as he suddenly takes her by the arm and makes her turn around to face him . He was so frightened by the thought that Filiz would ever give him up to another person .

"Girlfriend ? I don't have a girlfriend !"

" Are you still lying to my face Baris ? Didn't you admit sleeping with her just a couple of days ago ? Why are you still doing this to me ? Just let me go now !"

" Filiz .."

" NO ! Enough ! The girl says that she might be expecting a child from you and you're still trying to play games on me ! "

" What ?! What are you talking about ! "

Filiz tries to take his hands off of her but he refuses to let her go, looking more worried than ever .

Baris still tries to process Filiz's words . As far as he knew, Filiz just assumed that he had slept with Hulya and she had unfortunately made a right guess . Then why is she talking as if something happened between her and Hulya; And that's when it hit him . Of course ! Hulya !

" Filiz … how did you know about what I .. did ? " Baris asks her suspiciously .

" Are you kidding ? or are you just trying to hurt me even more by reminding me of your treason ? Trust me , you already did more than enough !"

" No , I really need to know . Please tell me .. PLEASE "

Filiz sees how sincere he was in his request . Maybe he really didn't know that Hulya came to 'kick her when she was already down' .

" Hulya told me . "

As usual , I hope you enjoyed my imagination hahaha . See you soon with the 3rd and last chapter of this fanfiction . Love you all


	3. Chapter 3

I apologize so much for the delay guys, I had already explained the reasons for this small issue .Anyways , the third and final chapter of this tiny BarFi fanfiction is finally here. I am going to shut up now and let you read it haha. I can't wait to read your comments and honest opinion, favourite moments, etc . Everything you guys say is truly valuable to me . Enjoy lovelies .

" I have Always Been Yours – BizimHikaye – BarFi " Chapter 3( Final Chapter)

" Because I find serenity in your scent "

"Why are you truly here Filiz ? "

He repeats the question again, whispering this time, his forehead still resting against her hair. The hand that was holding her arm slowly went down until reaching her wrist and it stayed there, measuring her pulse. Elevated . His vanity gave him satisfaction in knowing that she was nervous around him , just the same way he was , because, at least it meant that she still cared for him somehow, and that's all he needs right now .

" Baris what are you doing ? "

" Answer me .. please "

" Baris let me go . "

" No . " says Baris, but it's not an angry "no" , or a forceful" no" " .. It sounded more like a DESPERATE plea .

" Baris , you shouldn't .. I want to leave "

" Do you ? do you really want to leave ?"

Filiz keeps quiet for a few seconds, but relunctantly lies again : " Yes, so can you move your hands please ?" Filiz says this and tries to open the door again but she is taken by surprise when Baris quickly closes it again, while his other hand is holding her tiny wrist. He presses on it ever so lightly then pulls her closer to him until she is completely stuck to him . Eyes closed , his head resting against hers, still , he whispers again :

" You said you wanted to make sure I was okay . I am not . Help me . "

His voice was trembling and Filiz was holding back her tears . He was so desperate, so needy, so fragile, and she wished she could turn around and take him in her arms . But it was no longer her place .

" Baris please stop . This is no longer my place . We no longer have the right to share such moments . You have a girlfriend and .."

Baris doesn't allow her to finish as he suddenly takes her by the arm and makes her turn around to face him . He was so frightened by the thought that Filiz would ever give him up to another person .

"Girlfriend ? I don't have a girlfriend !"

" Are you still lying to my face Baris ? Didn't you admit sleeping with her just a couple of days ago ? Why are you still doing this ? Just let me go now !"

" Filiz .."

" NO ! Enough ! The girl says that she might be expecting a child from you and you're still trying to play games on me ! "

" What ?! What are you talking about ! "

Filiz tries to take his hands off of her but he refuses to let her go, looking more worried than ever .

Baris still tries to process Filiz's words . As far as he knew, Filiz just assumed that he had slept with Hulya and she had unfortunately made a right guess . Then why is she talking as if something happened between her and Hulya; And that's when it hit him . Of course ! Hulya !

" Filiz … how did you know about what I .. did ? " Baris asks her suspiciously .

" Are you kidding ? or are you just trying to hurt me even more by reminding me of your treason ? Trust me , you already did more than enough !"

" No , I really need to know . Please tell me .. PLEASE "

Filiz sees how sincere he was in his request . Maybe he really didn't know that Hulya came to 'kick her when she was already down' .

" Hulya told me . "

Silence .

" Hulya told me Baris . Or else how would I know ? I would never suspect you 'd be able to do such a horrendous thing. Of course I learned about it from her "

Baris felt a wave of anger sweep through him like a tornado . He mentally thanked God Hulya wasn't standing in front of him at that moment or else he wouldn't be able to control himself and would've probably killed her ! He looks at his feet for a few moments , trying to gather the necessary courage to carry on :

" What did she tell you exactly ?" he asks , eyes still looking down, feeling too much of a coward to face Filiz in these moments , but still refusing to let go of her arms , out of fear she might escape .

" What are you trying to do ? I don't want to talk about her , about this . I don't even want to remember her words !"

" Filiz , please , I have got to know "

For the first time tonight, Filiz is angry, truly angry .She was already hardly coping with the truth, and she just couldn't but blame Baris for rubbing salt into her already painful wound . She hadn't even explicitely told Tulay about Hulya's exact words, they were too agonizing for her to share with anybody , really .But tonight,, she allows herself to speak about that horrible confrontation for the first time ever .

She answers him angrily :

" Oh so you really want to know what your little doctor friend told me ? FINE ! She said that you two have ss …have slept together , and that she might be pregnant which meant that you had some responsibilities towards her . Sh..She asked me.. to leave you alone as I no longer was part of your life .. "

Filiz was panting by the time she was done . She didn't know that the simple fact of remembering it all would hurt her just as much as the actual truth .

Baris closes his eyes in frustration. His face is pale and he inhales sharply. How could Hulya do such a thing ? How could she lie in such a disgusting way ? How dare she even talk to Filiz in the first place? He made it clear that she meant nothing to him, and now that she hurt Filiz that way, he wanted to kill her !

Now it was his turn to have trembling hands . He was feeling as guilty as a criminal , feeling helpless, feeling like a disgusting jerk. He was slowly but finally realizing what he did to his Filiz, what he did to himself. He opens his eyes and looks at her , so very lovingly , so very apologetically .

" I am sorry Filiz, I am so sorry , I didn't know what you've been through , I "

" ENOUGH ! "

Filiz screams and pushes him away .

" I only answered you because you kept insisting ! I do not need your pity ! Do not feel sorry for me Baris do you understand ! "

Baris was astonished by her words, by the anger she was keeping inside . Of course he couldn't blame her, she had every right to . All he could do was curse himself for being such a selfish jerk who brought so much pain into her life .

Baris tried to reach out to her again, extending his arms, hoping she'd let him hold her , to comfort not only her , but also himself . But she pushes him away again, and completely loses her self-control :

" How could you do that to me ? How could you ?! "

Of course Baris understood that she was not talking about this moment , she was asking him about how he could be with another, even for one meaningless drunken night .

" Filiz, I … don't even remember what happened that night . I was too drunk I didn't even know what I was doing "

Filiz looks at him with utter disbelief :

" Too drunk to know what you were doing ? Are you seriously saying this ? Is that your excuse ? Being drunk is NOT an excuse ! YOU DID IT ! and now you're putting the blame on her ? You think I wouldn't defend her just because she hurt me ? Despite what she did to me, no woman deserves to be treated that way Baris ! I expected you to be better than this , but I see you are no different than other men ! "

" No of course not ! I would never humiliate any person like that ! I didn't mean it in a disrespectful way I promise, allow me to explain please "

Filiz looks at him with so much disappointment, but her keeping silent allows him to go on :

" I swear I am not looking for excuses , I made a big mistake and I feel like a complete repugnant and heartless idiot ! The way Hulya lied to both of us and the way she tried to manipulate both of us to separate us even further is another issue and I will make her pay for everything she did to you and to us . But it doesn't mean that I would disrespect her as a woman ! I am just stating facts ! You and I had a fight that day! You even praised Cemil in front of me ! Cemil himself and your sister Yeliz kept making all these hints stating that you and Cemil were living together at your house like a REAL married couple . I was stupid enough to fall into their trap I admit it . I was too blinded by anger and .. and jealousy! Yes ! I was jealous and in so much pain ! I needed to forget about it all ,to forget YOU , because I couldn't handle losing you . So during that damned night, I drunk my weight in alcohol. Maybe I was being vengeful, but I only hurt myself by hurting you… I swear I AM NOT looking for any excuses, I deserve to be in a such a miserable state for everything I did ! I am just explaining what happened that night. The last thing I remember is me drinking in the bar with a group of interns from the hospital , including Hulya. The next morning, I wake up to find her next to me . I have no recollection whatsoever of anything beyond that …"

Filiz was listening to him, unable to react . Baris proceeds :

" I … I never wanted anything in life as much as I wanted you Filiz . You were my salvation after my brother's death , and I fought back to get a life for you, for us , for the Minibols .. When I lost you I had nothing left to keep me going. Yes I went back to university but I was also back to the miserable person I was before, the uncaring selfish Savas Aktan. I became viscious BECAUSE you were gone and I failed to maintain my balance ! "

" Are you saying it's my fault ?! "

" No ! I just .. I once told you that I couldn't breathe without you . that your absence meant I was absent too. I did not lie , and I certainly was not exaggerating . When I realized I could no longer have you, I lost myself , truly lost myself , and I gave in to my pain, to my anger, to my despair. I allowed 'Savas' to take over, only to force myself to forget you. I was led to believe that you chose Cemil over me. I would imagine you going home to him everyday and every night , about him touching you and hugging you and kissing you ,about you having kids with him, and I would just wish I was dead rather than feeling that excruciating agony. You have no idea about the number of times I surrendered to my weakness and came to the neighbourhood at night to just beat him up to death and force you to get a divorce , to take you away and never let you go again , but never went through with it. Sometimes,I'd even run into Tufan and he'd be the one to hold me back before I did anything ..irrational ! So instead , I put on a fake mask of cruelty . I tried to hate you, but I couldn't . All I did was just hurt you and hurt myself as a result … "

Filiz was listening to him, unable to believe how much honesty he was displaying, shocked and happy and furious all at once . She was expecting such words to calm her down, but they have woken up dormant feelings and dreams inside her . The more she realized that everything between them was nothing but a big misunderstanding & that none of this would have happened if they had talked from the beginning,the more furious she felt . There were so many things she wanted to say too, but a huge lump was being accumulated in her throat and she felt the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"For whatever it is worth , I am truly sorry for everything Filiz, so sorry…Forgive me…"

His heart-breaking apology was her undoing . How could she not forgive the man she was so deeply in love with after this , but at the same time , how could she forgive him ? That was her dilemma !The truths he so sincerely revealed still don't change the fact that he had touched another woman and she honestly didn't think he would forgive her if she did the same.

" Would you have forgiven me if I had slept with Cemil ? or any other man ?"

Baris remains silent enough for her to scoff in an ironic manner and turn around to leave .

" I would. " He suddenly responds .

Filiz stops . She laughs mockingly then turns back around to face him and starts slowly walking towards him as she continues :

" Oh really ? You left me & refused to talk to me because you thought I chose Cemil! And now you're telling me that you would have forgiven me if I had slept with another , hm?!"

Baris is silent still which gives her the opportunity to go on :

"Are you sure YOU would have forgiven me if you knew that I had been with another, that another man had kissed me and had touched me and ha.."

" Enough .. Please stop , please .." Baris pleads , interrupting her .He wasn't angry, he was rather .. SAD . The truth is that he respected Filiz a lot & he wasn't the kind of disgusting possessive man ,but he still couldn't hear her say these things . The mental image of her in the arms of another made him weak in the knees and caused unmeasurable pain to take over him.

Filiz was trying to hurt him . It was obvious . She wanted him to hear those words . She wanted them to affect him, the same way his treason had affected and is still affecting her.

" See ? I could be much more explicit about this but I know it's useless because I already got the reaction I expected . You can't even imagine me in the arms of another and you DARE talk to me about forgiveness ? What you felt by these simple words is nothing compared to the way I felt after I realized you ACTUALLY did it . I simply wanted you to taste a little bit of your own medicine "

She steps closer .

" Does it hurt ? Are you feeling the same way I am feeling ? Forgiveness ! Don't you dare ask such a thing from me ever again ! "

She is about to leave again when he finally speaks :

"I swear on my brother's grave I would have forgiven you if you had done it . I would have forgiven you for everything .. Everything ."

He was trying to convince her to believe his words . Filiz doesn't turn back but looks at him from the corner of her weary eyes .

Baris steps forward again but allows her to keep her distance .

" .… If you had also been involved in a physical relationship with another during our break up , of course I would have been devastated , utterly and completely broken . I would act the same way I did at first, I'd shut you out and be cruel . I'd be hateful and vicious . BUT I know I would still want to be with you . I mean it is YOU Filiz. I would need time, but I know at the end of the road, I'd ALWAYS come back running to you ! Since the day I've known you , I've realized that whatever path I would take , it would always lead to your arms .So yes, I swear on my honour I would have forgiven you, it would just be a matter of time. I can never truly give you up. Today I realize that. "

Silence .

Baris can't tell if it's a good or a bad sign, but she is still standing there , no longer aiming at the door, which gave him a bit of relief as well as hope .

They stood like that for several minutes, both contemplating each other, while Baris was anxiously waiting for her to deliver him from his torment and see HOW sincere and honest he's being . There isn't an ounce of lies in his utterances .

Filiz was a mess . She was confused and hurt and relieved and so angry all at once . The truth was finally out in the open, it was nothing but a stupid misunderstanding that took a very wrong turn. She thought she'd be somehow satisfied but his confessions only made it hard for her to leave him now. She hated the fact that she still loved him this much . Baris was attentively looking at her, trying to decipher her reaction, but he didn't have enough time to do so , as she suddenly moves to fully face him again and approaches him, with red cheeks, teary eyes and a look of utter disappointment he knew he'd never forget ,allowing herself to speak what's on her mind :

" All of this happened because you thought so in the first place anyways , isn't that right ? You really thought I chose to remain with Cemil , that we were living like a real married couple, isn't that right ?! "

Baris is too ashamed to speak. Filiz approaches him even more and proceeds :

" Answer me! Yeliz and that idiot Cemil lie to you and you immediately believe them ? Is that it ? Is this why you've been so cruel to me ? Is that why you allowed yourself to cheat on me ? Don't you know me at all ? How could you believe I would ever do that ? How could you believe I would ever betray you , betray US, in such a horrible way ? How ! Didn't you see how happy I was thinking I was finally getting a divorce , a LIFE with you?! "

" Filiz .."

" NO ! You listen to me ! There was NEVER anything going on between me and him and there never will be ! I never even held his hand ! You know why ? Not because I am a woman or anything, if I wanted it I would have done it I am free to do whatever I want ! But I simply did NOT want to because I only wanted YOU ! I've never loved anyone other than YOU , you moron ! I couldn't even look at anybody else because I have chosen you a long time ago ! And this will NEVER change ! "

Baris was speechless . The more she talked , the more he hated himself . How could he put her in such a state ? How could he devastate her like that ?

Filiz adds : " You don't know what I felt when I saw you willingly leaving me for the first time, saying that everything was over . I wanted to explain why I couldn't get a divorce then,but you wouldn't even give me the chance to. .."

Filiz wipes away the tears that were streaming down her face as she tries to keep going:

" We were happily planning our wedding& our life together . I thought I was finally going to taste happiness ;I had found out that my mother hadn't abandoned us all those years for lack of love, but it had all been because of her disease. She was getting her treatment, she was back with us .She got the custody of the kids back. I was no longer obliged to marry Cemil and nothing was keeping me from getting a divorce . Most importantly, I had you, and we were genuinely content, without lies , without secrets , without doubts nor obstacles. I couldn't wait to get out of the courthouse as a free woman, free to be with you ,body and soul ! But Kiraz calls me and tells me that mum was selfish again , that she ran away with some guy. My whole world crumbled in front of my eyes in a couple of seconds, and the judge was asking me if I wanted a divorce, and it just .. everything was so overwhelming to me and it all happened so fast I didn't know what to do, so I did the thing I have been doing my entire life : protecting my siblings & sacrificing myself yet again . If you think that I did it because I didn't trust you enough, you are wrong . Despite everything, I've always trusted you. I believed in you, in 'us' so much … I might have made a mistake yes, maybe if that phone call came a bit earlier, I would've had the time to tell you about it, to ask the lawyer, to find another alternative or even ask the judge to postpone the session until we find another at that specific moment, flashbacks of those people taking my brothers away from me, the sound of Kiraz's screaming and of Fiko's crying all went through my head and I couldn't , I just could never deal with that again . I would never let them go through that again, even if it cost me YOU!"

" But …"

" I know what you want to ask and the answer is No , even if I got the divorce and married you immediately, they would've never trusted me with the custody again and would have still taken the kids away . Mrs Reyhan had told me that herself . That's why , Baris, that's the ONLY reason why I did what I did and said what I said …There , you got your answer ."

Filiz remembers it all . How could she forget that traumatic episode she went through when she lost her siblings ! She is shuddering .She gasps for air . She clenches her hands even tighter , looks him further into the eyes , and carries on with difficulty :

"If you were present the time they came and took them by force , you would have understood, you'd be the first one to sacrifice our love for them ! If you had the chance to save your little brother and bring him back no matter what the price was, would you have hesitated ? We both know you wouldn't have ! You'd have sacrificed everything for him… Didn't you leave me to save Hikmet and Rahmet from jail in the first place ?You did it because you put them first . Well I did the same. I put them first as usual .I knew I had no right to ask you to stay after that, I had told you from the very beginning that you were free to leave whenever you felt that it was all too much to handle . All I wanted was to explain, to make it less painful for you,I knew it was over for you but I just didn't want you to hate me ,that's all . I didn't want you to hate me .."

" Oh Filiz … "

Baris is in shock . Her words shattered him completely and made him feel how much of a heartless bastard he was . She was shaking and breathing heavily, and he knew he had to let her have these moments , to let her get rid of her burden ,because anything he'd say now would only make it worse. So he just stood there, feeling contrite and distraught .

By the time she is done, Filiz feels like she wants to slap him, to hurt him , to hit him , and so she does . Hands clenched into fists , she attacks him and starts hitting him uncontrollably, not even caring about where her blows would land . She was crying, yet her chest felt free. It had been holding it in for so long that now that she had said it all, it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of her .Baris doesn't move, he doesn't resist , he allows her to let go of her anger, to take it out on him , he deserves it after all .

After a few moments, she slows down, until her blows became more and more futile, and then she stops . She is sobbing, crying so hard she is out of breath. Her breathing is heavy and uneven and her eyes are puffy and red . She was already standing right in front of him, so,without even looking at him, she slowly rests her hands and her face on his chest, letting her last tears trace wet circles on his shirt. Baris doesn't even seem surprised of the way she so tenderly lets herself fall into his arms .She was so hurt, so out of energy and breath, and now that she could let it all out, she felt somehow relieved ,and she found refuge in his welcoming embrace . He is dying to feel her closer to him . He closes his eyes and wraps his arms around her in such an affectionate and protective manner, holding her as tight as possible, trying to give her all the love and warmth his body could possibly ever offer. He places his chin on the top of her head ,eyes still closed, and unconsciously traces multiple kisses on it. This woman has always been his oxygen , and she'll remain so for eternity . He knew it, and for the first time since their horrible break up, this realization does not scare him at all . Filiz herself doesn't protest either . She allows herself this moment just as much as he does . Despite the fact that she still can't forgive him for Hulya, she decides to live the moment . She reluctantly drops her hands to his waist ,then puts her arms around him too, making the tiny space disappear between them .

They hold each other so very firmly , their breathing synchronized . They remain like that for several minutes, before Filiz finally comes back to her senses. She lets go of him and he opens his eyes instantly, missing her touch already, but he still doesn't let go of her . She doesn't look at him,but slowly pulls herself out of his arms and takes a few steps back .

" Anyways, what is done is done now and the rest is history . I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you for Hulya, just as much as I know you will never accept my fake marriage to Cemil, but at the present moment, I have no other choice . "

" Filiz , wait .."

" I am exhausted . I am so tired Baris . so tired . I'm going home .Good night ."

She moves away from him, broken and overwhelmed. It was hard for her to concentrate with him looking at her like that so she chooses to look the other way and head towards the door as fast as her feet could take her . She was already feeling so weak in the knees she thought she might collapse right there .

Baris felt daggers being violently inserted into his whole body . Their break-up had been nothing but a big mistake , he could clearly see it now & he was sure she could too . However, he was losing her again despite the truth finally being revealed. Baris was losing her . She was turning away from him, taking steps towards the opposite direction .

" You can't leave, not after this .." He says. She stops in her tracks as if she had been waiting for the slightest signal from him to stop her from getting further away .

Baris approaches her with determination and holds her from behind, relishing the intimacy of the moment .Their faces are right next to each other, and Baris does not resist the temptation to smell her hair and let her scent penetrate his soul to wake up his senses and fill his entire being . They stand in that position for a while , stealing yet a few other heavenly moments from reality , until Filiz touches his hands that were holding her so tightly and slowly breaks free from his warm grasp, then she turns around while keeping her distance,because she knew very well that being physically close to him would truly be dangerous madness during this hour of pure vulnerability .She was practically sobbing .

" I wish it were that simple Baris . I am afraid there might be no turning back .We are finished"

She was facing him while uttering these words and it all seemed like a never-ending nightmare to him.

A sudden sense of urgency overcame him. He needed her . He needed her now more than ever . In a matter of a second , he was lunged forward by his internal demand and his hurried footsteps echoed in her ears as he came rushing towards her .

Filiz was still talking but she could see he began to move , walking slowly but urgently towards the love of his life; His eyelids were already heavy with love and lust and his extended hands made his intention clear. Without warning, he pulls her delicately but roughly takes her lips in his, interrupting her words , as he tangles his fingers in her gorgeous hair . Filiz immediately kisses him back, giving into the kiss and closing her eyes to savour every inch of him .He uses his thumbs to caress her cheeks, kissing her in every way possible, tasting those lips he's been deprived of, the lips he spent nights wishing he could taste and have again .

" No we're not . Don't say that again , ever again , please . We can never be finished ."

His voice is calm and by saying those words loud and clear it seemed as if he was reassuring himself that what they had would never die. He kisses her forehead, then the top of her nose , before kissing her cheeks, slowly, erotically, zealously , one after the other , tasting her salty tears in the process and making sure to use his hands to fondly wipe them away . He then lowers his face to capture her lips in his again, only this time it's gentler .. worshipful even ... One more fervent kiss and he adds :

" Do not punish me with your absence .I can't handle your absence Filiz " He has the impression that he did mention her name with that last sentence but he's not sure, because even if he did , it got muffled by their lips finding each other again as soon as possible, for his mouth eagerly demanded hers .

It is only after those moments of pure magic that Filiz wakes up from her slumber and interrupts their kiss, using the little strength she had left to reluctantly & hesitantly push him away, looking shocked and regretful . She touches her own lips . He had kissed her . Baris had kissed her . . She thought she was going to slap him again for kissing her without her consent, but who was she kidding ? What consent ? She had given him her unconditional consent from the moment he walked so instantaneously towards her ,making her realize what he was about to do . The truth is that she didn't expect that his mind-blowing kisses and seeing him like that would be enough to break her resolve completely.

On the other hand , Baris was not surprised that she pushed him away even though she kissed him back and obviously shared his desire . However, it's only mere seconds before she does something Baris himself was not expecting at all . It all happens in the blink of an eye : She hurriedly walks back towards him and this time , she is the one who kisses him ! She pulls him from the hem of his shirt and takes his lips in hers , violently , lovingly, intensely, devotedly ! Her kiss was wet and demanding,& now it was her turn to tangle her little fingers into his unruly curls , tagging at them furiously & bringing his face and lips as close to hers as possible. She kissed him so very fervently as if her own life depended on it, gaining several moans of pleasure from Baris who did not waste a single second to put his arms around her waist , wanting to feel her as much as possible and reciprocate her passion with equal vigour.

" What are we doing … ?" she tries to ask between kisses but her voice is barely heard

" Loving each other . " he answers her with dedication and determination before resuming their kisses again .

Their mouths were moving in sync , like an excellent choreography. They shared a rejuvenating kiss that had not only resurrected the both of them , but had also taken them to the extremes of delirium . After several minutes of tasting each other, they reluctantly break their lips apart to get some air into their lungs .But as soon as they part , Baris quickly rests his head on her left shoulder & whispers in her ear " Forgive me . I acted like a heartless moron . I wish I could take everything back . I regret it all, so much .. so much Filiz , if you only knew. Forigve me "

He looks at her again , but it's much more than a look . It's apologetic, it's guilty, it's ashamed and remorseful . But most of all , it is Loving. Love . Pure love for her . And Filiz can clearly discern Baris now, HER Baris, no one else BUT THE Baris she had long ago fallen in love with. She'd recognize that loving look anywhere, even among the chaotic, shaking figure standing in front of her .

" So many things have happened, and we lost the battle .Please let me go." answers Filiz, swallowing hard , trying to feign strength, trying to resist her love for him, but failing miserably .She was feeling how breathless he was. She could feel his heartbeat , a heart that was beating for her, only for her.

As she pronounced those words, she was still holding onto him ,refusing to get an inch away from him . She might have asked him to let her go, but she doesn't move and doesn't even try to escape his arms that kept gently pulling her closer and closer . She feels herself growing calmer ,being so passionately held by him . Meanwhile, Baris was terrified of her words .They both simultaneously close their eyes and rest their foreheads on each other, savouring each second spent like that:

"Don't leave me Filiz , not tonight , please "

" Don't do this ..Please stop "

" I can't . and even if I could, I would never want to . Not after the truths I've learned "

" Nothing's changed "

" Perhaps . And I don't know how either of us would ever be able to move on after tonight, but , I only know that I want this night to be ours .You need time to forgive me for what I did , I understand , and Im not asking you to forget about it right away. I just wish we could steal tonight, just tonight , to go back to the way we were before. "

" It will only hurt us more Baris . It will make this break up more painful later"

" I know, but I still can't let you go tonight .. Can you ?"

Filiz keeps silent ,but the way she's holding him is enough to answer his question. Baris takes a deep breath, smiles slightly against her lips, and says :

" Don't leave for the day, don't leave for the night .Don't leave at all . Stay . Trust me . Not Baris, nor Savas .Not the valet guy nor the car thief . Not even the doctor . Not any of those. Just trust me , ME , the man standing in front of you right here , right now . The man who loves you more than anything .Can you trust me ?"

Those were almost the same words he had said to her in the house by the sea when he had 'kidnapped'her during her wedding night ,those truthful , heartfelt words that had unveiled so much sincerity and vulnerability in him , and right now , in this very instance, as he was displaying the same truthfulness , opening himself up to her utterly and completely, he said the exact same words again. Only this time , they were more intense , much more intense, and she could do nothing but surrender to the warmth that was her Baris . Yes she was still disappointed . Yes she did not forgive him yet , yes she was still hurt, but she found herself at PEACE , finally after so long .

All her questions had cleared out , all the clouds of doubt and betrayal and cruelty had disappeared , all misunderstandings settled . The agony that had tormented her for what seemed like an eternity was evaporating like droplets of water into thin air , making space for the delicious sense of satisfaction for being 'entrapped' inside Baris's affectionate and warm embrace .

It was clear to her now that it would only be a matter of time before she'd forgive him too . She knew it . She was just confused and tired , so very tired ..

"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me , my love ? " He asks again, so very desperately.

Filiz opens her eyes at the sound of his voice and he immediately gets lost in the pools of gorgeous green that were her diamond-like eyes . She looks at him and is taken aback by what she sees .

Baris is in tears . He is crying, crying ! His beautiful eyelashes getting heavier with his tears .He is so fragile and he is longing for her , desperately missing her. That's when she knew she would no longer be able to fight back her feelings . She certainly had no clue about tomorrow , about an hour from now, neither did she care ,but right then, right there, she wanted nothing else in the world but to console and reassure him , to show him that she equally loved him , that she also missed him, and that she badly needed him too.

And so , without wasting anymore time, without hesitation nor remorse, she cups his face tenderly, allowing her little fingers to caress his cheeks , using her thumbs to wipe away his tears .He holds onto her as if his life depended on it . He holds onto her for dire life. He holds onto her , refusing to allow the tiniest space to be felt between them, just waiting for her to say something – anything . She uses the rest of her fingers to touch the wounds on his face, the wounds she so meticulously managed to clean some time ago, and Baris relishes the exquisite sensation .She was tracing lines on his face, on his injuries, until reaching and going along his jaw line ,leaving a trail of burning desire behind each touch. Baris was being assaulted by too many emotions all at once : angst, fear of losing her , lust and desire for her , guilt, regret , shame … and love, undeniable love for her. He found it so hard to focus as he was too lost in her . She sees his blatant excitement and smiles in a bittersweet manner, bringing her face as close to his as possible, so much so that their eyelashes formed a perfect continuous line. She looks at him with so much fondness , with so much motherly care, with so much dedication. Her lips are only a mere inch away from his as she whispers against his mouth.

" Yes, let's have tonight ." says Filiz, before closing her eyes briefly again while putting her forehead back on his .

Is he dreaming ? Did she really say that ? Is she really staying with him tonight ? He stares at her, smiling brightly like a child receiving their first bike on Christmas, his vision blurred by the remaining tears , but it doesn't stop him from admiring her every detail. He once realizes how incredibly beautiful she is.

She looks at him with so much care that breathing becomes even harder for him . His mind is blank. He does not think about anything .He was vaguely aware that his heart was pounding dangerously and that he had the most primitive instinct : to devour her , to worship her , to shower her with passion .His eyes darted back and forth nervously .His large calloused hands travelled up her neck, choosing to settle once again in their favourite spot.

" I love you Filiz . I love you so much .. "

And then, as if they had planned it beforehand, they both move forward at the exact same time, allowing their lips to find each other again. As soon as their breath mingled together and his lips brushed hers, a wave of passion radiated through his body . He hadn't realized he could ever be capable of so much desire for a person, let alone for the tiny gorgeous woman that was the source of it all. She was rocking his whole world right now and if this was a dream, he wished it would never end .

At first , their kisses were slow, affectionate, tender, as if they were getting acquainted again. But as their passion began to rise, their kisses became more needy, more passionate, more violent at times . God how much he had missed that delicious mouth of sucked on her upper lip like a lollipop ,which caused her lips to get slightly red and swollen and he couldn't help but find them even sexier and more appealing. On the other hand, Filiz was just as passionate as he was. She let her hands travel from his face , to his jaw , to his neck , to his back, to finally go back up and reach his hair . She always loved tangling her fingers into his rebellious curls, it was one of her secret fantasies about Baris . Truth be told, she had a lot of fantasies involving her gorgeous man .

They were both drowning deeper and deeper in their everlasting kisses, refusing to break away even to take a they had to at some point, and that's when Baris puts his forehead on hers, lips red and swollen, breath hitching, before confessing :

" I have always been yours , Filiz "

" I have always always been yours "

They exchange these confessions and it feels as if nothing could hurt them from this point on. Baris kisses her forehead then lifts her chin up before lowering his face ever so slightly and going back to ravishing her lips again. It seemed as if they were both marking each other's territory , to make sure that they'd always belong ONLY to each other . Without stopping, Baris slowly steps forward, making Filiz systematically take a few steps back . Her already unbuttoned coat falls to the ground in the process, and Baris smoothly pushes her down on the sofa while he was still kissing her . Filiz reciprocates the gesture by surrendering to his touch, letting herself fall smoothly on the sofa while surrounding his neck completely with both of her arms to pull him on top of her as well . They kiss each other reverently, both revealing an amount of longing and fervor they never knew they were capable of . With laboured breathing, Baris began to go a little lower, tracing warm wet kisses on her neck, murmuring her name over and over again in a low voice like a prayer, while taking the few seconds separating every kiss to tell her just how much he had missed her , & how much he loves and needs her . Her scent invades him , disarms him , inundates his veins , beautifully overwhelming his mind and overpowering his bodily strength like a luscious drug .He was getting drunk on Filiz Elibol and nothing would sober him up, except for her tempting , lustful voice , uttering one word : " Baris ." Filiz was enjoying his actions far too much , arms tightly hanging around his neck , head tilted up, eyes firmly closed and lips slightly parted in an extremely erotic gesture , suggesting how much pleasure he was giving her. She wanted this just as much as he wanted it , but in their relationship, she had always been the ' responsible " one .She hadn't even completely forgiven him yet to allow herself a night of passion with him . So, despite her numb limbs and her body that was already and voluntarily being swept away by her lover's touches and his hands that were ravishing it in the most sensual of manners, she pronounces his name in whispers, and it is enough for him to realize what she had meant. They loved each other madly and wanted each other more than anything in the world. But at the moment, they needed some time to heal first. Yes they had cleared out all of the misunderstandings, but they still needed some time to move on , to start anew , to be able to go back to each other's arms again with forgotten erased wounds , zero doubts and nothing but love . He understands this and that's why he unenthusiastically opens up his eyes , lifting his head up slightly to look at her fully, before smiling sweetly at her ( she does the same) and plants a yearning kiss on her forehead, then moving his body to settle himself on the couch right next to her and take her in his arms . She immediately holds him and drowns her face in the crook of his neck , inhaling deeply, feeling serene and so in love . He takes a small blanket that was carelessly hanging on the sofa next to them and uses it to cover them up very quickly as he wanted his arms back on her as soon as possible . His tiny Filiz fit so unbelievably & perfectly well in his body and he found the whole scene unmeasurably heart-warming and delicious.

Right there , right then , the only thing they wanted was to be together . Friends ? friendly neighbours ? Lovers ? It didn't seem to matter at all . They simply sunk deeper and deeper into their delightful madness, leaving the burden of the " consequences" for later , much later .

And so , just like that , they mindlessly talked about trivial matters as they were in each other's arms , until they finally fell asleep , finding and taking heavenly refuge in each other .

THE END .

Yep , that's pretty much it folks , that's the end for this tiny fanfiction , but only the beginning for our gorgeous BarFi . Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoyed my silly imagination hahaha . Again, I'm eagerly waiting to read your comments and criticism . Also , I love my BarFi HazBur Fandom .


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